


Tj Kippen's Journal

by brodskysbeck



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Tyrus - Freeform, obviously, theyregay, tjisinlove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 11:58:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16810141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brodskysbeck/pseuds/brodskysbeck
Summary: and what happened when he lost it.





	Tj Kippen's Journal

The second Tj got home from school, his mom was already asking him the daily "How was school" question. He responded the way he usually did, a simple "Eh" spoken while running up the stairs to his room on the second story. He liked to save the details about his day for the notebook that he hid under his bed.

He closed the door, throwing his backpack on the wooden floor. He reached under his bed, all the way back hidden in a way that nobody would suspect. He grabbed the journal and jumped back up onto his bed. flipping through the pages, stopping at an entry from February.

2/9/18

Today was such a weird day. There's this guy, I'll call him C for now. I remembered him from the other day when I helped him get a chocolate chocolate chip muffin he couldn't get himself. Anyways, at the swings he was alone and he had this song for going on the swings I don't remember the lyrics but honestly I was not expecting him to have a SONG for any playground activities. He kinda helped me today, in a way, by reminding me about swinging I guess. It was cool having someone there for once. B just had showed up though, another thing she had to ruin.

Tj winced at its content, he felt like an entire different person since he's written those words. For a second he considered ripping out the page in front of him. He didn't though, instead he held a finger between the earlier entry and his most recent one, so he could compare the differences between them.

11/2/18

I hung out with Cyrus and Buffy today. We were helping her with her basketball tryouts, giving her moral support and what not. We watched the girls tryout and lemme tell you, they need a little help. Nothing Buffy can't handle though, she'll get the team up and running in no time. I got a chance to look at him today, I mean really look at him. And when I say he's perfect I mean he's really PERFECT. All that space on the bleachers and he sat just had right next to me. We were sitting THIS close, literally no personal space between us. It's like he wants to kill me. I swear with him it feels like my heart is actually gonna explode into a million pieces. Can't wait to hang out with them again.

He really was in love wasn't he.

He let go of the pages when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He pulled it out to see that Cyrus, the very person he was always writing about, was calling him. It really was a coincidence, wasn't it.

He pressed answer on the Facetime call. "Hey Underdog, what's up?"

"Hey Tj, me and Buffy just wanted to say hi, so hi." Cyrus smiled shyly at the phone, holding it up to Buffy who waved with one hand, holding a basketball in the other.

"Hi guys!" Tj waved back smiling back at the phone.

"Anyways I'm pretty sure I'm actually gonna have to go soon, Buffy has this basketball thing, and I'm pretty sure she's gonna need her best cheerleader to cheer for her." Cyrus explained pointing to himself.

"Wow, Cyrus at this point you should just join the cheer squad, I hear there's some openings." Tj teased.

"I honestly would but have you seen me in PE? My athletic skills fall into the negative category."

"You're so funny, do people tell you that all the time?" Tj threw his head back laughing.

"No, you might be my biggest fan actually."

"Cyrus!" Buffy interrupted in the background.

"Guess that's my cue. I'll call you later?" Cyrus told Tj while simultaneously telling Buffy to hold on just one second. "For sure, bye underdog!" Tj replied hanging up the call.

\------

The day went by fast and Cyrus was back home from hanging out with Buffy, laying on his bed with his phone stuck on Tj's contact page. He looked at the time at the top of his phone. 10:03

Should I call, or is it too late? I don't wanna bother him, especially if I have no real reason to call at all, he pondered.

When Cyrus called earlier and said he "just wanted to say hi" that was 100% the truth. All he wanted was to see Tj's face. His crush on Tj was different from his crush on Jonah. It was more real to him, more cautious because he might actually have a chance this time.

His thumb hovered above the call button.

Tj was always there for Cyrus no matter what. If Cyrus needed help he would be there in a heartbeat, and Cyrus really didn't want to fall in love with that. Falling in love with Tj could risk their friendship and the bond he had with nobody else. Plus, Tj didn't like him that way, he could never like him that way, what was he thinking?

Cyrus lay the empty screen on his dresser and turned off the lamp.

\------

There was 30 minutes until first period and Cyrus was strolling through the halls. Andi and Buffy were still having issues with each other so most of the time he settled on hanging out with neither of them in the morning. Drama was not a good start to his day.

He stopped at his locker and felt a finger pointing his way. He heard snickers and glances from strangers directed at him. He wanted to scream "What are you looking at? Is there a problem?" but he's never been that type of person.

He saw Jonah walking towards him and grabbed his arm to pull him out of the way. "Hey, Cyrus! What's up?" he greeted. Cyrus let go of Jonah's arm.

"Have any idea about what's going on here?" Cyrus pointed to the students whose eye's were stuck on them.

Jonah shot Cyrus a nervous glance. "Why are they staring?" he whispered. "That's my question exactly, I'm really not used to this much fame." he whispered back sarcastically. Jonah laughed, closing his mouth as he saw a taller boy stopping them in their tracks.

"Goodman and Kippen sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G." he sung into Cyrus' ear.

"What? Me and 𝘸𝘩𝘰 kissing in a tree?"

Did I just hear Kippen, or is my mind playing tricks on me? Cyrus wondered.

He covered his other ear with his hand, in an effort to shield the kid's deafening voice.

"Did he just say Kippen?" Jonah asked, pointing his index finger to the boy who was already gone, running to his group of friends. Another voice echoed through the hall, "Cyrus, man you have to read it." A boy with a football uniform flung his hand over Cyrus' shoulder. "Trust me, it's a classic." Cyrus wriggled out of the boy's grip. "What is?"

"Kippen's journal. You'd be surprised at how soft he is."

"Tj Kippen? He has a journal? How do you know?"

"Someone found it on the floor earlier this morning I guess and I'm pretty sure it's being passed around this very second. I'm actually surprised you haven't heard about it yet" he explained. "Anyways I'm sure you'll get a chance to read it, I'll see you later Goodman."

The football player disappeared into the crowd leaving Cyrus and Jonah with their mouths hung wide open.

Jonah took a second to put together the information given to them.

"So Tj has a journal and wrote about you? Well that would make sense, right? Because you guys are friends. So obviously he would write about you." Jonah rambled with a smile stuck onto his face.

"I guess?" Cyrus responded. He didn't know what else to say, he was just as clueless as Jonah was.

\------

Tj zipped open his blue and brown Jansport backpack, placing it on his lap. He dug through the mess of wrinkled papers, smoothing them out as he searched. Wait where is it? Tj began to panic. His journal was missing.

I could've sworn I put it in my bag, he thought. Unless I left it at home. No I didn't, I'm sure of it. That means that someone probably found it and was reading it right now. Ohmygod.

Tj buried his face in his hands. He was ruined.

\------

Andi hopped into the desk beside Cyrus, "Have you heard?"

"If this is about the journal I already know."

"Everybody's talking about it. I don't know who it belongs to. Someone just passed it to me last period and said it was a must read." Andi quoted the last two words with her fingers.

"It's Tj's." Cyrus informed her.

"Wait, how do you know?"

"Someone told me. I haven't read it yet, I don't want to either. It just seems too personal, you know?"

"Oh. Well, I'm definitely gonna read it. This is a chance to know what he's actually thinking about you guys." Andi responded, already flipping to the first page.

Cyrus sunk into his chair, he would never want anybody to have a glimpse into his secret thoughts and he was pretty sure Andi wouldn't either.

Nobody would.

\--------

As soon as he caught the way too long stares from the kids at his school, Tj knew his journal was out there for everybody to see. Unlike Cyrus, Tj 𝘸𝘢𝘴 the kind of person to ask people what they were looking at, so he did.

"Hey! Take a picture, it'll last longer." he yelled into the crowded hallway, rolling his eyes as the crowd turned his way.

He walked up to his locker, opening it and from the corner of his eye he saw Buffy glancing at him, coldly turning away as soon as he noticed her.

Buffy is icing me. I knew this would happen.

I should've just ripped out the pages, he thought, forgetting why he opened his locker in the first place.

And what is Cyrus going to think once he reads it? He's gonna hate me.

\------

Buffy stormed into the spoon already knowing Cyrus would be sitting in their usual booth after school. "Have you 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋 this? Cyrus I'm so mad right now I could-"

"Tj's journal I'm guessing?" Cyrus sighed, eyes on the book Buffy was holding.

It was so tempting to rip it out of her hands, just to take a glance at the words she was complaining about, but he didn't have it in his heart to do that.

"He said I couldn't play basketball if my life depended on it and that even 𝘑𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘩 is better in the court than I am."

Cyrus could practically see the smoke coming out of Buffy's ears.

"Are you even hearing this? He said that 𝘑𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘩, as in 𝘰𝘶𝘳 Jonah is better at basketball than me. Like he actually wrote that on paper, knowing it was a complete lie." Buffy shook her head.

"When did he write that?" Cyrus asked. There's no way that could've have been recent, Tj would never write that now, he thought.

"I don't remember, but still, I can't believe he said those things."

"Did you read all of it yet?"

"No I've only read a couple of pages so far, I was gonna give it to you to read" Buffy said tossing the book on the table.

Cyrus caught it and had to force himself from opening it. "Go ahead, read it" she said, "Start from the beginning, so you can see all the lies he wrote about me."

"Buffy I'm not gonna read it." Cyrus told her, tightly gripping the book with his hands.

"Why not?" she asked.

This is my friend's diary, Do I really have to explain this to everybody? It's not that hard to understand. Cyrus thought, almost letting the words slip out of his mouth.

"I'm just not" he shrugged, stepping his foot out of the booth.

He knew what he had to do.

\------

Tj lay on his bed, his arms over his head. He lost his journal, but he's lost someone 100x more important to him than any piece of paper could ever be. Cyrus hated him, and by now he knew everything. All the pages, all the thoughts he's ever written about him. He knew about it.

He sat up, pulling his phone from the charger.

He scrolled through his messages with Cyrus and through the pictures.

He really didn't want to cry, because Tj Kippen doesn't cry. He just wished so badly that he could turn back time.

It's over now. My bestfriend hates me, he hates me. There's no going back. He threw his phone on the other side of the bed, smashing his face into his pillow. 

𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘱,

He heard noises, loud enough that he could hear them even through the pillow.

He stayed silent for a moment, making sure his mind was registering the sounds correctly.

𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘱

He was hearing the sounds again, this time even louder than before. It sounded like pebbles? Who was throwing 𝘱𝘦𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 at 11 o' clock at night? Admittedly it wasn't 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 late, but still.

He got up from his bed and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He peered into the window, it was too dark for him to see anything clearly. He carefully opened it up, wary about what could be outside.

"Cyrus?"

Tj was sure that if it wasn't for the circumstances right now, his arms would 100% be around the boy standing on his lawn.

Cyrus let go of the small rock in his palm.

"Why are you here?" Tj's tone was sharp.

"I have something of yours and I need to give it to you." He stared back at Tj whose hands were still pressing on the windowsill.

Tj noticed the brown battered book Cyrus was holding in his hands. His mind instantly went into panic mode. He definitely knows, I am so not going down there, he thought, nearly closing the window.

"Come on Tj." he said waving the book into the air.

"You already know what's in it, might as well keep it." Tj didn't know how to stop himself from hurting Cyrus. He came all this way, the effort shows that he probably 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 mad at him. So why was he being like this?

"I didn't read it!" Cyrus shouted, "I would never do that to you! You should know this!"

"You didn't?" Tj was shocked. He was sure that Cyrus had already read everything before he showed up. "But what about Buffy and Andi and everyone? You're telling me you didn't at least take a peek into it?"

"No I didn't, now come down here before I freeze to death." Cyrus yelled shivering in only a t-shirt and jeans.

Tj pulled off his black hoodie, and raced down the stairs. He opened the door and ran up to where Cyrus was standing.

"Here." he pulled the hoodie over Cyrus' head. "Wouldn't want you to freeze or anything."

In that moment, Tj almost had a heart attack seeing how adorable Cyrus looked right now. But it was definitely not the time to fall even more in love than he already was.

"Here, it's yours" Cyrus handed the journal to Tj who placed it on the floor beside him.

"Well I guess you should know what I wrote. At least a part of it." Tj blurted out. "You know I'm really surprised you haven't heard about it. I genuinely am surprised, like the whole school is talking about it."

Cyrus fiddled with the drawstrings of Tj's hoodie. "Tj, what do you want to tell me? About what you wrote."

"Cyrus. You wouldn't believe how I felt when I thought you were mad at me. You're so important to me, Underdog, I don't want to lose you."

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because of Buffy, she gave me the cold shoulder, I figured you would too."

"Tj I wouldn't do that to you, because I know the things you wrote about her... you don't feel that way anymore."

"Yeah well.. that's not all. Tj put his hand on the back of his neck, carefully forming the words he was trying to say, "There's more than just the stuff I wrote about Buffy. She was only a tiny part of it. You're pretty much the only person I wrote about."

"Here read it." Tj picked up the book from the floor handing it to Cyrus.

"It's okay, it really is, you don't have to show me."

"No I swear, I want to." Tj said pointing to an entry from a week ago. He flipped the book to Cyrus' view and covered his eyes with his hands, he was way too nervous to see Cyrus' reaction.

10/26/18

I don't understand why Cyrus puts himself down all the time. He's cute and so smart and he never fails to make me laugh. He's the first person to actually be there for me, he saw something in me. That's how good he is. He's too good for this world, and sometimes it blows my mind how he can't see it and neither can his friends sometimes. I see it though, I might be in love with him too if we're being honest here. But I could never admit it to him. He would hate me. 

Cyrus finished reading the last sentence and was amazed at what he just read. That was the nicest thing anybody has ever said about him and wait Tj was really in love with him? He pulled away Tj's hands that were blocking his eyes.

"Wow, I mean 𝘸𝘰𝘸. Nobody has ever said anything like that about me before."

"I like you Cyrus. Like, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 you like you."

Cyrus blinked. "Really?" Even though he heard the words from people in the halls, and read it in Tj's journal he still couldn't believe it could be true.

"Yeah, obviously, Cyrus you're amazing. Ever since the swings, you've made me a better person. How can I not fall in love with that?"

"Tj, I like you too, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 you like you."

"What is this Romeo and Juliet?" Tj laughed into his hands, breaking the seriousness of the conversation. "Cyrus I can't believe you were throwing actual rocks at my window." "I had to get your attention somehow" Cyrus replied. 

Tj smirked, throwing his arm around him. It felt so instinctive to do this. He really did miss it. So much.

Cyrus wriggled out of Tj's grip, facing him to pull him closer. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he did know for sure that he's been wanting to do this for so long. He grabbed Tj's face, and kissed him. It was short but sweet. They broke off the kiss, and even in the night sky you could see the blush rising on both of their cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> this took me FOREVER to post here because ao3 wasn't letting me post for the last couple of weeks so SORRY but I hope you guys like this!!


End file.
